This past week I lost the last of my aunts. The last of that generation of women in our family. The small town and farmer’s wives. The seamstresses and canners. The cooks and gardeners. The keepers of the houses of my vacation visits. The mothers of the cousins I ran with and the barely known older cousins. The repositories of memories of my father as a young boy and witnesses to grandparents that I never knew. And as I talked to a family member from my generation they commented that the torch for us women had been passed. We were now the oldest women in our individual family lines. It was up to our generation now.
So I have been thinking. What exactly does that mean “to pass the torch”? What does it mean to be one of the older women? For my individual family what does this torch look like? By definition to pass the torch means to take on the responsibilities, traditions and knowledge of another when they are no longer able. As my children are adults, they are responsible for themselves now and in turn for families of their own. Yes, we follow some traditions that are longstanding, but have also bent some for modern circumstances. The world we live in changes so fast that knowledge is outdated in the blink of an eye. So perhaps the concept of this torch, lit long ago, is allowed to change.
So here are some thoughts on my modern torch. I will be responsible not for every member of the family, but I will be the silent backbone. My responsibility is to give advice when asked, help when needed and to be there. I will continue the traditions that work for me, learn and share those that work for others and serve as a reminder that the most important tradition is to be a good person in all circumstances and to remember where your blessings come from. As for knowledge, it is useless unless shared. So ask and I will tell you what I know. I hope this is enough to keep the flame burning. Until the torch is passed again.
So I have been thinking. What exactly does that mean “to pass the torch”? What does it mean to be one of the older women? For my individual family what does this torch look like? By definition to pass the torch means to take on the responsibilities, traditions and knowledge of another when they are no longer able. As my children are adults, they are responsible for themselves now and in turn for families of their own. Yes, we follow some traditions that are longstanding, but have also bent some for modern circumstances. The world we live in changes so fast that knowledge is outdated in the blink of an eye. So perhaps the concept of this torch, lit long ago, is allowed to change.
So here are some thoughts on my modern torch. I will be responsible not for every member of the family, but I will be the silent backbone. My responsibility is to give advice when asked, help when needed and to be there. I will continue the traditions that work for me, learn and share those that work for others and serve as a reminder that the most important tradition is to be a good person in all circumstances and to remember where your blessings come from. As for knowledge, it is useless unless shared. So ask and I will tell you what I know. I hope this is enough to keep the flame burning. Until the torch is passed again.
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